There is Never Anyone To Change, But You
Let’s forever practice, practice, practice, changing the way we look at all things. Mastering the skill of changing your perspective when things don’t feel favourable to us, is emotional intelligence at it’s finest.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer.
And I promise you, if you do master giving yourself the gift of changing your perspective in any and all challenging situations – personal freedom, empowerment, and inner peace will be the magic you are able to find in every circumstance – no matter what’s going on in the outside world. 🦋
Because according to my own Happiness Playbook, knowing + fully embracing the Universal Law that we cannot change anything or anyone outside of us, ever, as much as we might like to think we can, is fundamental to discovering the inner peace and contentment we all say we desire.
No amount of wishing, willing, thinking you know better for another human being, will ever motivate them to change, to do their own “inner work”, ever.
Because they, as much as you, don’t want to feel like they are “broken” or that “there’s something wrong with them”, which is what we imply, no matter how good our intentions, when we want them to change, but they’re not ready.
Understand that it’s their own fears, demons, past trauma’s, limiting beliefs, unworthiness, addiction to negative emotions (whether they know it consciously or not), and about a trillion other generally subconscious factors (meaning things they’re not aware of), which internally feels like their “safe place”.
It’s far more comfortable for them to live here, where it’s familiar, than to step into the fear of the “unknown”, the “what will happen if I change, if I have to face my bullshit stories (said with love), and I don’t know who I am anymore?”
That fear for some, is literally suffocating, like the very thought of finally processing their past is a matter of life and death. When in fact, those who have been on such a journey, know that this is when you finally start living.
An individual’s transformation will come all in their own good time, IF, and only if the pain of not changing, suddenly outweighs the pain of staying where they are. This will generally take a life defining moment to trigger their change.
Like a traumatic break up.
Like feeling alone and scared.
Like wanting to end their life.
If you care about someone who you find yourself desperately wanting to change, please remain open hearted, see them in their infinite wholeness, perfect, exactly as they are, and offer them the love and support you know they need.
In particularly painful circumstances (generally romantic relationships), where your thoughts, feelings and well-being are being negatively impacted, you may need to walk away and love them from afar.
So the only job you ever really have, is to realise that the only change we need to make, is within ourselves. To recognise that we cannot change anything or anyone outside of ourselves, and to learn to detach from the desire to fix others.
Allow others to be perfectly themselves, just as you are perfectly you.
And instead, choose to uplevel your own mindset, your emotions and expanding your heart to the possibility that something greater, something more in alignment with who you really are meant to be, is meant for you, and is already on its way.
Your time, your energy (which is your life force), and your love, are all very precious commodities best spent on yourself and those who want to be in your life.
If there is ever anyone to change, it’s always ourselves.
And you never know, they may just follow your light.
It’s All Up To You 💕